


If it ain't broke

by Khalehla



Series: The adventures of Ju & Jo [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Who pays that much money for kitchen appliances?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8321287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khalehla/pseuds/Khalehla
Summary: Joshua and Julian house-sit, somehow manage to break a very expensive kitchen appliance, and Joshua falls in love. Julian is not amused.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is partially inspired by someone describing an end product as "$1,000 mashed potatoes. Only $1,000.00, because I still can't believe we paid $2,000 for a food processor." I _love_ mashed potatoes. And now I want a Thermomix.
> 
> Also for the **anon** on tumblr who requested more Ju &Jo fics :D
> 
> \--  
> Set in the [skin2skin](http://archiveofourown.org/series/567608) universe where Marc-André and Bernd are soulmates.

“You did _what?_ ”

The last word comes out clipped and slightly venomous over the speaker and Joshua gives Julian a very nervous look.

“We may have, uh, accidentally broken the Thermomix,” Joshua says, cringing with every word.

They can hear Bernd breathing deeply for nearly a minute. “So let me get this straight. You accidentally broke Marc’s Thermomix?” he asks slowly. “The €1000 food processor that I saved up _months_ for to give to him last Christmas? _That_ Thermomix?”

“Yes,” Joshua squeaks.

“How in the world did you manage _that?_ ” Bernd demands.

“Well you see, we weren’t really planning on using it but then they had this pie on the cooking channel and-”

“You know what, I don’t really care,” Bernd cuts Joshua off sharply. “What I really want to know, is what you plan on doing about it? We’re back on Sunday already!”

“I know, I know, we’re going to get it fixed!” Julian assures their seething friend quickly. “Or buy you a new one, if we can’t.”

“Ju, you’re a full-time student and Jo’s an intern - do you even _have_ €1000 to spare?”

“It’s called savings, Bernd,” Joshua sniffs, slightly offended.

“Yes, that you _save_ , Jo, for _emergencies_ ,” Bernd replies back just as snarky. “You’re not meant to be using the money to buy expensive kitchen appliances!”

“Well there’s nothing we can really do about it now,” Julian sighs. “Because if we can’t get it fixed, we won’t have a choice but to buy a new one.”

“Just, just do what you can,” Bernd sighs as well. “We’re going to have to tell him either way, but at least get us slightly better news when we get back. The receipts and warranty are in the plastic box in the bottom drawer - take that with you when you go find the repairs place, okay?”

“Will do,” Joshua agrees before cancelling the call.

“What are we going to do?” Julian asks after a short pause.

As much as Julian hated to admit it, Bernd was right; €1000 was a _lot_ just for one kitchen appliance, and although Marc-André was one of his close friends, he really didn’t want to spend that much money on him. Which in the end was their fault, really, for using something that they didn’t really know how to operate, that they ended up breaking and now either had to get fixed or replaced.

When Bernd and Marc had asked them if they wanted to stay at their flat during break while they were in Spain for holidays, Joshua and Julian had jumped at the chance to house-sit, driving up from Munich the day before the Bernd and Marc were scheduled to fly out. Not exactly big, the two blonde’s place was still great: situated near the river, an easy commute into the city and a decent drive to Cologne or Dortmund if they wanted to meet up with friends in the area. Staying at their place for a fortnight meant that they could have a staycation, a mini-break without spending any money on accommodation or transport but still getting away from work and studies and enjoying the social life that the area had to offer. They’d loved it so far, being able to catch up friends around the Rhine region, glut themselves on their friends’ cable TV and party nearly every other night; and all they had to do was remember to water the plants in Marc’s balcony garden.

And not break anything. Which unfortunately, they did.

So now Joshua and Julian have to find somewhere to take the Thermomix for service and get it fixed - preferably _before_ Marc got back from Spain - so that their friend wouldn’t kill them.

They spend the rest of the day researching about the Thermomix and seeing if there’s a repair centre they could go to tomorrow, and they end up with about half a dozen recipes they want to try and no idea how they managed to break that thing.

“When I finish my internship and I get my permanent job, I’m going to buy myself one of these as a reward,” Joshua says, staring mesmerized at the videos making everything from puff pastries to lamb to stir fries. “No wonder Bernd got this for Marc - this is incredible!”

“Ahhh,” Julian says. “You heard how much that thing costs, right?” he asks tentatively. “You could go on a holiday to Spain for a week with that much money - which was you know, what you said you were going to do as your reward for yourself before we broke the Thermomix?”

“I _k_ _now,_  but have you _seen_ this? I’m almost ready to give up my Barcelona trip if my mash potatoes turn out like _that_!”

“Jo, we still have to find a way to fix this one; so can you stop looking at recipes and actually see if they have service centre nearby that’s open tomorrow?”

“Oh al _right,_ ” Joshua half-sighs, half-grumbles.

Lucky for them, there’s one a short drive away and they carefully pack up the Thermomix and grab the receipts before heading out bright and early the next morning. The salesperson is way too cheery for Julian’s liking when they explain what happened, and Julian’s scared they’re going to get talked into buying a new one instead of getting it fixed, so he insists that the salesperson has a look at it himself, first, to see if they can see what’s wrong with it.

“That’s a good idea,” the salesperson - Matt - says, bringing the Thermomix over to the table so he could plug it in. The machine comes to life, and Matt blinks at them.

“Ah, that’s what pretty much all it did for us too,” Joshua explains.

Matt blinks some more. “So you didn’t actually cook with it?”

“We did; we were going to steam vegetables on it but even after we set the temperature and made sure it was on, it still didn’t do anything.”

“You’re sure you set the timer on?”

“What timer?” Julian asks, confused.

“You can’t operate the Thermomix without setting the timer,” Matt says. “It’s a safety feature so you never over-cook your food.”

Joshua gives Julian a wide-eyed look and Julian shrugs. That thing was a glorified food processor, and he’d never owned a food processor that had a timer on it, so how was he supposed to know that? But then again, he was a student who bought the no-brand kitchen appliances from supermarkets, and he was lucky if they came with more than one setting, so Julian’s not really surprised that this Mercedes Benz of food processors was so complicated.

“Oh,” Joshua says, and Matt gives them a very disapproving look.

“Weren’t you paying attention during the demonstration?” Matt asks with a frown. “That’s a very important function. And even then, you should have read the manual thoroughly before using your new Thermomix - it’s what we recommend to all our new customers, after all.”

“We forgot?” Joshua says, choosing not to tell Matt that the Thermomix wasn’t theirs in the first plce, probably trying to avoid not getting a lecture on misusing expensive cooking equipment that doesn’t belong to them. “But thanks for reminding us; we’ll just go now. Enjoy your day!”

They quickly pack the Thermomix back into the box, grab the paper work and practically run out of the store.

“I can’t believe all it was, was the timer!” Julian says when they’re driving back to Marc and Bernd’s apartment. “Can you believe we were _that_ close to wasting €1000 for nothing!”

Joshua just hums in response, already looking at his phone.

“I know that face! What are you up to Jo?” Julian asks suspiciously.

“We need to go to the supermarket as soon we drop this baby off,” Joshua says. “I really want to try a couple of these recipes!”

“Jo…” Julian sighs, just knowing that his boyfriend was about 70% ready to use his holiday money on a new kitchen gadget.

But three hours later, they’re enjoying a delicious mushroom and chicken risotto and one of the best chocolate cheesecakes Julian’s ever had, and he thinks that maybe Spain can wait after all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see something cool and fun **XD** go to Google (maps), type in KPMG Düsseldorf, and look at the street address of the branch [or you can check out the [series notes here.](http://archiveofourown.org/series/567608)]
> 
> I have a [tumblr account ](https://khalehla.tumblr.com) for my writings and random ficlets. If you have a question about this or any of my other stories, come say hi :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I write **fiction** about real people. As far as I know, none of these events ever happened; any resemblance to any actual events are purely coincidental.  
> 


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